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Reconsidering John Calvin

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Love is a common phenomenon in our lives. The presence of love at our hearts turns us into human characters. Without it we would possibly become monsters. Many definitions for the four-letter word “LOVE” have been provided so far. Love as many have described it, is a feeling of compassion expressed towards another being or creature. Many authors have studied and have written about love as an emotion which brings us closer to one another. The proverb “Not all that glitter is gold” can be used to refer to some situations of love (Myers-Shaffer, 2000). It mainly refers to the sexually transmitted diseases like HIV/AIDS and STDS that may partially spoil the whole appreciation of love, like unwanted pregnancies.

It’s accepted by some people that men possess women. However, love is not about possession, but mainly about understanding, respect, and developing companionship among spouses. One can say he or she has fallen in love with a young lady or gentleman, classmate, colleague you work with. The concept of being close to each other develops emotions of friendship, not love. So if one experiences sweet feelings towards the friend, first, it is necessary to understand the situation in which one becomes close or to get whether there is a common agenda or mutual understanding between both of them (Kane, 2006). Lastly, ask whether the feelings of the other person are the same. By this, closeness between friends and colleagues can create a unique bond of love and respect.

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Love can be abusive or can be abused by either of the spouses. One can abuse love by asking the partner to pay for something or to give what one is dreaming about as a sign of love. Sometimes it means one would like to control the other or to fulfill the desires of the beloved. There are many ways to abuse love. Jealousy and love make not a good combination (Zachman, 2012). A partner who is jealous endangers love as well as the whole relationships. Being jealous, one is able to hurt another person, destroying the bonds between each other.

Jealous partner can sexually abuse another, raping, beating, and violating their rights, thus destroying the tough bonds between lovers. There are many agencies which help in advising and helping spouses to develop good relations. If a spouse has been a victim of injustice, he/she can report to the agencies and expect for the appropriate actions to be taken. Couple therapy sessions help couple understand each other at times of hardship. Women rights agencies and human right bodies help in creating awareness about the abuse of love or each other’s freedoms. There is a right time to fall in love or to have a relationship (O'Toole, 1997).  Knowing the meaning and purpose of love can help one develop a good relationship with a partner. Defining the right time to have a relationship is difficult to be obtained. It’s just the situation in which a person falls in love and is certain about the spouse.

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