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Should Gays be allowed to Marry

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At a present the issues concerned with moral and equality concerned with same-sex relationships discussed a lot. For last 20 years some US states adopted law which allow gay couples to marry, other ones did the same but postulated such a relationship as a “union”, hoping not to insult people who has clear picture of mom and dad when they hear word “marriage”. Moreover, President Obama on May 9, 2012 announced that he pro–gay marriage, what made him, actually, the first American President who supported same-sex marriage (and individuals as a result) in public. In fact President opposed Defense of Marriage Act (DMA).

Some laws and regulators that define and protect marriage

With DMA that been stated as “useless” by Obama Administration (they will not defend this act in court in case of claim) there are few organizations like National Organization For Marriage and Family research Council, that supposed to protect and support marriage institutional, were claimed as hate groups by Southern Poverty Law Center.

Therefore we should consider that marriage not just close communication of 2 people (by now) but a union which protected by government, including financing of various services and programs. But scrutinizing of economical party of this problem needs vast knowledge (economical, political, medical..) and actually far beyond our task. Let’s just say that economic growth (budget income) of NY state after gay-marriage approval will increase approximately on 100 millions dollars.

Estimating each state relation to the given topic

However, in my opinion if gay couples strongly want to get marry they can visit other state. US is a free country and no one can restrict freedom of movement. According to gathered data (United States Census Bureau) in US approximately 646 464 same-sex couples (0,55% of whole couples), it is pretty much. But considering real ability to marry or unite officially, only 14% - married, 15% - in union and other 71% - did not choose nor union nor marriage. This fact reveals another side of question – do gay really need it? Of course gay’s officials (medics and psychologists support them) claim that same-sex couples (actually the same tax payers and part of society as everyone else) quite often suffer from abuse and malevolence.

Distracting from US and study European experience

The Civil Partnership Act was passed in UK in 2005. According to it, 2 same-sex people who older than 16 can register their relationship. Although, this partnership is not a real marriage, considering legal side of given union, partnership has all components of “real marriage”. For example, partners can inherit each other property, each partner considered as married in cases of retirement provision or immigration. Moreover, if they decide to break up, couple will have to pass divorce procedure in court wit full scope of routine work. But along with it, same-sex couple can’t adopt and raise kids.

Great Britain is not the only one innovative country in Europe. Same-sex marriage (not union or partnership) are allowed also in Netherlands, Belgium and Spain; and partnership (Sweden, France, Denmark).

The outstanding fact that in catholic Spain (like in Canada also) where about 40% of population identify themselves as strong believers, gay-marriage law was passed and church couldn’t withstand (apparently its influence have been exaggerated a little).

Despite all provided freedom the number of same-sex marriages still quite small (for more information see the table below with data for Netherlands).But is it right to think that homosexuals are far away and their lifestyle will not influence “hetero-based” families and institutional of marriage which formatted long years and now started to collapse rapidly.

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However, same-sex people also have rights for family and it doesn’t matter how it looks like from the point of view of hetero majority. Few decades ago black people also struggled for their rights trying to prove that they are humans too and as a result they won the battle. Some scientists proved that after marriage life of homosexual couple can improve dramatically – healthier lifestyle, increasing of responsibility, infidelity avoiding, fostering of better atmosphere for happy and fulfilled childhood.

But let me ask a question – Is it really good for society to bring this sort of relationships into its mainstream? Do we really want to encourage more young people to such as “marriage” experiment? Finally, do really gays need marriage? To answer all this question I’ll provide some useful data.

First of all the concept of fidelity is almost absent in gay sphere, according to Miller (1979) the longest gay relationships lasts for 2 years. On the other hand the average term for hetero marriage in US is about  quarter of century according to National Health and Social Life

Survey (NHSLS). Moreover, from the Scandinavian countries experience (which stepped on this field earlier) homosexual unions have pretty high divorce rate. Gays quite often have sex with strangers, not thinking about STD, drugs and other issues. Judging from NHSLS survey the average amount of partners for whole life for hetero man – 15,7, for gay – 44,3. About 77% of gay man participated in “treesomes” at least once But the roots are hidden not in lifestyle. Men who have anal sex claimed to live in average 20 years less that one who do not.

Conclusion

Considering facts above, what kind of decision must be done? Real percentage of gay who want to marry is very small. In my opinion, purpose of marriage is to grow children. What kind of children will grow in gay family where parents have different sexual partners and often sex experiments. Does our society need motherless children who didn’t learn basic skills from woman? Society and government have to think seriously before adoption of different laws, even if local budgets will win.

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