Any concern that provides a positive emotional support in a relationship between individuals, lays a strong foundation for friendship. Judith Viorst in “Friends, Good Friends –And Such Good Friends”, analyses different types of friendships that women have, be it a friendship of convenience, a friendship of intimacy or a friendship that is more open and revealing. Friendship may vary from person to person.
Different people have different definitions of friendship, depending on their individual emotions involved. Some may find it in the unconditional love, while others in the trust that exists between them. However, friendship needs to be nurtured and developed constantly so that it survives and sustains the relationship. In today’s ever changing society, being a human I need to share my love and affection in my friendship with others. My friendship has the unique blend of emotions like affection, loyalty, love, respect and trust that overcomes all the trials and tribulations of time, to be faithful in an unconditional way.
I find that there are three types of friendship:
Friendship of Utility:
This friendship is a relationship of acquaintance built only to seek personal gain or advantage of self-love, is shallow and easily prone to dissolve. There is absence of emotions like love, trust, or loyalty in this relationship. My father has many work and business friends who meet over dinner, for their own common benefit, and I have friends whom I call only if I need any help. I would stay away from such relationship of friendship where there is only hypocrisy and selfishness.
Friendship of Pleasure:
This friendship usually exists in youngsters and like-minded group of friends, as they are greatly influenced by their mutual passions and pleasures of their lives. They come together out of pleasure, without really caring about each other’s feelings or life problems. So it is unstable, subject to abrupt change and the friendship may dissolve as the persons involved are unjust and selfish.
Friendship of Virtue:
This is the highest form of friendship that exists in a relationship of those who are good and alike in virtue and beliefs. Friends of virtue want to help each other out of love, experience the joys, the traumas and the future of life. It is long lasting, as I find that in this friendship, friends want to do things for each other for pleasure or utility, solely based on the emotions of loyalty, trust, love and affection. Self-love is applied here as well because they like certain traits of their own that their friends have making them in essence the same person This is a genuine friendship as the persons involved are just with a concern for each other’s wellbeing.
My school friendship is the most memorable one that I have, as it was purely a friendship of virtue that helped me build my future character and my personality. Pure and innocent emotions of love and trust in the friendship of sharing every detail of my life helped me find true and loving friends. My close friend TingTing, whom I met in the first semester of college, has the same interests like me –dancing. We go together to school, dance classes, as well as do the homework together. I am lucky to have her as my friend, as she is the only one who is able to understand my feelings, comfort me and help me whenever I am distressed over an argument with my parents. Our time spent together discussing various aspects of different things in life have helped me gain knowledge and grow.
Friendship is an important bond that every one needs, and developing a friendship of virtue is the only way a person can find true emotional support of love, compassion and affection.