Guyland is described as the world where young men both test and prove themselves as men and develop the defining attitudes and self-images they will carry into adulthood. In adolescent stage, male development between the ages of 16 and 26 explode in a problematic behavior such as drinking, fraternity hazing, and gets involved into female directed abuses. However, in the present generation there is need for a democratic manhood which should not be centered on excessive self control and defensive exclusion. Manhood should focus on the character on men’s heart rather than masculinity, a definition that encompass existing differences in men so that they may feel secure instead of being excluded. It should entail some form of friendship and centered on justice and equality.
Guys should show strength, sense of purpose, and be moral by getting committed to ethical acts despite of the costs, controlled aggression, independence, and responsibility which should be configured in a responsible manner. Men should be secure enough to recognize and avoid mistakes, have courage and be compassionate. They should be fiercely egalitarian and have power to empower others as well. A man should have strength to acknowledge that to be strong requires men to uphold each other rather than pushing them down because real freedom doesn’t come from loneliness but from a daily compromise from community living.
In chapter five of the book, the author clarifies that there are certain rites of passage that boys are exposed to in order to develop into manhood. He describes initiation part of the developmental process that reaffirms that boys are not real men because they still have the habit of having fun before they grow into adulthood’ (Kimmel 98). The fun that boys have could be measured as little, thus, the process of initiation has seen guy developing the habit of binge drinking, particularly in most hours of the night. According to Kimmel, this behavior has led to many deaths. The reason behind it is because most guys would want to be popular.
Popularity of guys
Popularity often fades away after graduating from high school, but continues to become bigger as guys enter college. Thus, for one to be popular, it is a perquisite to pass through the process of initiation in a group composed of other guys, who are the main key holders of the popularity known as Guyland. The initiation to this stage involves the passage from boyhood to adulthood. The rites of passage or the rituals from boyhood to adulthood are described as infantile. It is appropriate to regress to babyhood if initiation may validate your manhood. Many boys in guyland behave in childlike manner from their actions and are motivated by their id and ego and are not in a position of realizing that their have unwise actions. Sometimes their ego does not come into play but their id may emerge to be strong.
Violence is a character of many guys; they may get involved into sexual relationships with girls. In addition, they may also develop the habit of taking alcohol anyhow and get involved in criminal activities such as murder with the idea that it is part of their rite of passage. In many occasions, the boys may end up not facing law for the criminal acts that they do because the community believes that they will get reformed. However, these characters vanish as they mature and enter into adulthood.
Many guys escape and do not get remanded for their bad behaviors like the guys in Guyland because they are let to go freely. This is because it is believed that it is their time to develop by finding oneself. However, the idea of fun should have limitations to guys because it may have implications in their development into manhood. Many adolescents have developed fun that have encouraged rape cases, alcoholism but change these characters when they grow into manhood. The community has done little in changing such social problems among guys. Adolescents should be barred from indulging into such activities for them to change their behavior.
In order to change the character of adolescents, they should be encouraged to make improvements on their moral behavior and stop being lured into guyland. On the other hand, women have tried to assert their equality to men by hooking with strangers for recognition. Through drinking, women are misguided to fall prey and be misused by men because of the belief they have that they will be taken as equal to men. This puts the girls under the risk of heavy drinking since they have made themselves available for men to take advantage of them. In addition, for a woman to be recognized to be part of guyland, she must make herself available in order to be noticed through using her body. This situation has made men to be placed on top of women.
It is necessary to discourage women from getting involved in such disgusting practices in guyland by not allowing them to be influenced. They should desist from dating guys who have no respect for people in a manner encouraged by guyland. They should be contented for what they are instead of seeking approval from men for recognition. Women should stop attending parties with notorious guys since they may get influenced and put themselves in worse situations. They need to avoid such bad groups to reduce their chances of being raped. However, it is difficult to change this attitude in guys because they have adapted the guyland life since childhood.