query_builder May 10, 2018

We all have that disastrous sin which is called overthinking

This coward friend steals our joy and ability to live the lives we truly want to lead. Have you ever noticed how destructive overthinking is? But you do think too much even when it’s just the slightest problem, don’t you? I’d say everyone does that. It’s a very common thing, so don’t bother, relax, and read on because I do want to clear things up. Let’s face this ordeal and do our best to improve the situation.

Before I tell you how to stop overthinking and relax, you need to admit that being an overthinker is as bad as being an alcoholic, yes I do mean that! Why do I think so will you ask? The answer is simpler than you might think because the same as alcohol abuse ruins your life the same does overdrinking. You might have never taken it seriously and given meaning to it, but you should believe or not.

Our habit to overanalyze and overthink every little burdensome that in most cases isn’t worth neither our attention nor our nerves make us thieves that are constantly stealing their own happiness and joy. Paying too much attention and energy to something that isn’t worth a penny, you might be continuously self-sabotaging the good things in your life. In order not to hold us back from the life we might have, let’s try to overcome this disastrous habit.

The suggested habits are the ones that helped me greatly to overcome my own overthinking and become a simpler thinker ever.

I doubt you want to be unhappy and live a fearful life, you can and you will become a smarter thinker! Everything is in your hands, make it real.

1. You need a wider perspective.

Don’t be a prisoner of overthinking the minor things in life; however, I should admit it’s a common and frequent thing for sure. The next time you’ll be thinking about something, just ask yourself:

“Do I feel this will matter in 2 years? Or even in 2 months?” How does it work will you ask? By asking yourself this simple question you help yourself to let go of those situations. When you put things in a wider perspective, you stop your overthinking and concentrate on something that is definitely worth your energy and time, something that does matter.

2. Become better at making decisions by setting short deadlines for them.

We tend to turn our thoughts around and around if there is no time-limit for decisions, and we view them in our head for a decent period of time from every possible angle. If we learn how to make decisions faster, we’ll save ourselves from overthinking, no matter what it will be a bigger decision or just a small one.

3.  Minimize the stress of your day.

Unfortunately, we aren’t able to avoid totally stressful days or overwhelming. But what is definitely in our hands is a good start to our day. We are the ones who are responsible for the decision not setting ourselves up for suffering, unnecessary stress, and overthinking. The way I help myself to stop setting my day up for overthinking and stress:

  • It must be a really good start no matter what. Even if you’ve missed your bus, your car has broken down, or you’ve been late for the most important meeting ever, the tone of your day must be a good one. Shit happens, yes, but even if it seems to be the worst morning in your whole life, don’t let the stress overcome you. The rest of your day depends on your mood and your actions right now, even if this morning has been a total disaster. Any negativity should be turned into positivity, sounds like nonsense? What if you just need to try somehow?
  • You need to remember to take regular breaks and keep a sharp focus on a single task. No one wants to run on fumes being focused on what is most important to do you allow yourself to stay calm with relaxed and clear mindset. This way, you avoid winding up in overthinking headspace.
  • Set a limit to your daily input. We are constantly cluttering our mind with too much information every single day, is it just a Twitter or Facebook account or something else.

4. You need to become a person of action.

It means you should definitely know how to get started with anything, thus you’ll limit your chances for procrastination and, as a result, overthinking.

How to make it real? You should learn how to set a good tone for the day, I’d rather say a right one, and set deadlines. Reveal yourself the world of deadlines and the right start for the day and see what a person of action is.

5. Don’t try to control everything, stop doing that.

Realize that you can’t. Are you afraid of making a mistake or looking like a fool? That’s the reason why you rethink every single thing through 100 times trying to control everything. Your comfort zone will be broken no matter how desperately you are trying to build your zone strong. Failures and mistakes are essential and inevitable parts of life. Everyone makes them, fails, and even looks sometimes like a fool. If you know someone who hasn’t ever made a mistake, just tell me, who is it, and I’ll give you 1000$!

The idea to see a possible scenario in advance is ridiculous, you will never know. Trying to predict any possible failure is the most stupid and disastrous idea ever! Stop doing that; stop because it’s beyond your control. Your life isn’t the theatre performance, there is no written scenario. It’s only you, who is writing it the way you feel it. So why should you waste your precious moments of life bothering about every possible disaster on your way?

6. Know when to say stop every time it seems to you that you cannot think straight.

A negative thought might start buzzing around in your head when you are just lying in bed. This negative coward thought can do a lot of damage that’s why you should learn to catch them immediately and say to yourself:

“I’m NOT going to think about that right now!”

Our mind tends to not thinking clearly and be vulnerable when we are sleepy or hungry. So say yourself stop each time you feel that’s the situation like that. Better say yourself, “I’ll think of that issue tomorrow after a proper rest.”

7. Don’t let to be trapped in vague fears.

Could you imagine anything worse than getting lost in vague fears of possible situations in life? If you get used to creating disaster scenarios about what could or couldn’t happen if I do or don’t do something. What if……and blah blah blah. Oh, really? Do you find it reasonable? I doubt that! Please, do yourself a big favor; stop doing that damn thing! Of course, if you do believe that sitting and thinking about what you can or can’t do in this or that situation is the best thing to do ever, go on!

Ask yourself: “What is the worst that could happen?”

Do you know that the worst thing that could happen to you is actually wasting your time on needless thoughts and worries like these? What is the probability that those things that are bothering you too much will ever happen?

By the way, the worst thing for your biggest surprise is your fear of something that you never should be afraid of. Oftentimes, our biggest scary turns out to be just a trifle and nothing more. But we’ve spent so much time and our energy on something that has been driving us wild for such a long time. And guys, let’s be honest, for what?

Bad things are happening, have happened and will happen with no difference how much overthinking you give them. Find the peace and clarity in your thoughts; don’t let anyone or anything steal your energy and time. Life is too short to suffer. Every time vague fear comes up, save yourself by saying, “NO, I won’t do it no matter what.”

8. The best habit ever, just make sure your schedule includes work out.

You might say, “What a big deal.” Yes, I should admit it’s nothing new really. But you can’t even imagine the true power that working out brings us into our everyday fight with our worries and tensions. If it sounds a bit odd to you, don’t worry, it might sound so. To deal with overthinking, physical activity helps better than anything else, believe me; at least it does help personally me. This is the best method of changing the headspace ever. Don’t feel like you have enough time for working out? How dare you say that? Do you still have some time for overthinking and have no space and a few hours for working out? Are you serious? You should be more decisive really!

9. A good quality sleep provides your positive mindset.

No one wants to be lost in negative thought habits, but the probability increases each time you haven’t had a proper sleep. Somehow we tend to neglect this factor, but we definitely shouldn’t. When you don’t get plenty of good sleep, you become more vulnerable. You are exposed to any pessimistic thing and trouble. It’s so easy to get trapped if you didn’t get enough sleep. You aren’t able to think as clearly as you usually do and what to say about all those thoughts running around and around in your head. How can’t you overthink right now?

Some tips that ensure my proper quality of sleep are:

  • I’ve found out that a warm bedroom doesn’t work for me, I keep it cool. I have no idea why it works this way, but when I get into the cool bedroom I usually don’t have negative and scary dreams, I sleep much calmer and better for sure.
  • I keep my pair of earphones nearby. Unfortunately, I’m the one, who is easily awoken by noises. These noisy cats just drive me crazy, sometimes, I feel like I hate them despite the fact I’m a cat lover. The earphones are inexpensive items that provide you good night’s sleep no matter what the nature of your noise is.
  • Forcing yourself to sleep when you aren’t sleepy is a bad idea. It just makes everything much worse, really. Don’t feel sleepy? Take some extra time to “get tired more” or relax more, keep yourself busy, read a book, do some yoga, take a brisk walk, or a bath with aroma candles.

10. Live in the present moment.

I should say that this one is the hardest for me personally. I do try to spend my time and put my energy in the present moment, but unfortunately, I have to say I fail so many times. Overthinking the past moments which will never come back or worrying about the possible future is the most common and ridiculous thing ever. We spend so much time on that sort of things and forget about this right moment here right now. Past is the past, and future is the future but you are right here, in the present moment, your NOW is the only thing that does matter at all! Stop being a thief of your full life; you do want to live your life to the fullest, don’t you? If you don’t feel like it’s a manageable task for you, then you need to try one more time or find the methods that will suit you more. A lot can be said and written, but if you don’t strive to overcome your killing habit of overthinking, no one will help you!

Find the ways and methods, try as many times as it will be needed, but never give up! It’s all in your mind. Remind yourself who is a big cheese here; even if you’ve lost your last hope to overcome that damn overthinking!

And don’t ever think of looking for excuses, as you aren’t a lazybones, or are you?

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